I'm partial to the opinion that your egoistic thoughts are merely your mind translating what it senses into words. What our minds sense doesn't need to be translated into words, though; people are capable of understanding what their mind has come up with, in full, the moment it's manifested. The actual wordy thoughts you have afterward try to help bring it into context or display it in a way you can better comprehend. After all, most of our interaction (especially considering the dotcom era) hinges on language; your mind is making an attempt to marry its sensory interpretation of your current surroundings with familiar words you can understand, remember, and relay. This reality has a time and place, and it can be very helpful (thanks, brain!), but lately for me it's become more of a detriment.
I have a very difficult time shunting my language-based thoughts away from the natural sense, something I often want to leave open for interpretation. My brain will interrupt and be all "Hey! This is what you were thinking, in English. I'm so helfpul. Buy me a beer." I spend a lot of time on teh intornetz (it's one of my guilty pleasures to play World of Warcraft drunk), so often the language my ego will choose is simple and unintellectual. My mind will often choose to translate my thoughts into this sub-sufficient e-speak. Each time it does, I feel my IQ drop by half a point or so. Even if my mind opts to inform me of something in perfect English, it's still English... not the natural state in which my mind wants to live.
(This reminds me: I used to think in a hybrid of German, Russian, French, and English because I was studying all those language simultaneously throughout school out of severe personal interest. At that point, I was a far better communicator using my native English than I am now, better at organizing my thoughts, and better at being a human being. It's been a year or two since I've experienced this, though... I'm getting rusty kogda ya dumayu po anglaiski. Es ist nicht sehr gut. Perhaps some lecons du francais are in order.)
By the time I've received this pesky translation, ineffective language use I've become accustomed to, "inflections" and "tone" with which my ego chose to "speak", and various other aspects of my mind's "helpful" clusterfuck have completely clouded my original sense beyond recognition thus rendering my thought inert, retarded, and useless. I struggle to understand its deeper meaning. I wonder whether it should be stored for reevaluation, or discarded because its sub-par delivery is an indication of its inner quality. I usually don't get to decide, however, because my mind instinctively rejects poorly-executed thoughts, sending it into the ether to be forgotten. Goodbye forever, possible-awesome-hugely-misunderstood-linguistically-raped thought. See you never.
I'd like to take this time to point out, yet again, no I do not thinking exclusively in leetspeak. I'm not a 12-year-old AOLer, and I'm not so lacking in creativity that I conform to the easiest dialect I can find. I honestly believe the language of the internet has its own realm of possibilities, the potential for some SERIOUS lolz due to phrasing alone is astronomical. I'm not here to be a hater of this social byproduct.
What I'm trying to get across is that mentally sensing exclusively through language-based thoughts is what I have qualms with; language is one of the basic ways for humans to communicate things between one another. I do not believe that it's the most beneficial way for your own mind to try to communicate with itself, 100% of the time. I'd also like to clear up that I think language, for what it is, has enhanced our species more than any other one single invention ever has and possibly ever will (except maybe Facebook. Derp). I am a student of language at all times and wish to remain as such. Not knocking language here, but there's a time and place for everything.
Moving along.
I think the onset of this phenomenon within my own mind is due to conditioning. I took the easy route, decided to be lazy, and let my ego interpret my reality for me. The result has me wading through a sea of unintelligible words, a string of connecting shapes that I've learned to call "letters", combining with no real depth or meaning. I'm struggling to communicate in the moment with even my closest of friends, because I can't seriously turn to them and say "omfg did you just see that cat eat that cheezburger?" I'd almost liken it to mild schizophrenia, if I didn't know any better.
It's time to reclaim my brain from my auxiliary sensory organs! I hereby take a solemn vow to begin actively reversing this through meditation. I have a close family member with a similar experience (save for the drunken WoW addiction), for whom meditation shed new meaning on life. Considering I'm the spittin' image of this particular relative, (well, not physically.... he's a he and I'm a she.. but mentally) I have hopes that it will prove to be effective for me as well.
As far as meditation goes, however, I'm almost completely in the dark. As a cynical youth I shunned this along with other notions of spirituality and personal growth; those are tools for people who aren't perfect by default (my teenage self truly believed I was lucky enough to embody this natural perfection... birth defect, or something). Reality most definitely struck when I first attended University and received my first ever letter grade beginning with a D because my natural perfection forgot to study, or show up for class... for an entire semester. I'm a bit of an extremist, so I figured, "Okay I'm not naturally perfect. I therefore must be a natural disaster." (Hmm.. current events are influencing my humour somewhat, eh?) In my natural disaster state, certain I was a fraud and a hopeless nobody, I dropped out of University halfway through a degree, took a low-paying, entry-level job in the service industry flipping eggs, and completely ignored spirituality and personal growth for the subsequent three-to-four years. You can imagine where that's gotten me so far.
MY BAD.
So forgive me, Meditation Gods. I plan to work hard and learn all about what your practice has to offer, and I hope in return you will bestow upon me the ability to meditate successfully and effectively. If you're real nice I'll send you a postcard from the other side.
Ohm,
Nicole
3/19/11
3/17/11
Plan For The Best - And Get It
Throughout life we are faced with ups and downs. Adapting to these emotional shifts plays a huge part in personal growth as a human being. Effectively riding the elation you feel during an “up” time can increase the quality and frequency at which you experience this euphoria. Actively making changes to your attitude and outlook while trudging through a “down” moment equips you with the wisdom and confidence you need to keep these low moods to a minimum: few and far between. Both of these skills are easy to recognize, difficult to understand, and even harder to implement…unless you have a plan.
Trouble in Paradise
Though feeding off your own positive reinforcement is imperative, today we’re going to talk about beating the blues. When you feel your "down" stretch has lasted far too long, it's time to get proactive. If long-term grey periods are prevalent in your life, it may be an indication you're missing a very important piece of information about yourself – who you really are. It's time to do some soul searching.
This may seem like a daunting task. Perhaps you don't even know where to start. You’ve heard of young people aimlessly trying to “find themselves”, getting nowhere and feeling as though they’ve wasted their youth. They experiment with superficial desires, and hope they will passively stumble upon their life purpose while on a beach in Thailand. Therein lies their downfall. In order to move forward, you have to define your terms. This takes effort, and unfortunately taking a semester off to get drunk on another continent won’t suffice. The only way to boost your soul searching results is to take ownership over what you desire. Wishy-washiness must be abolished in planning and execution. If you make a haphazard attempt to accomplish something you kinda sorta care about, you’ll end up waist-deep in an unsatisfying life you hardly recognize.
If your view of reality is skewed, or you’re unclear on your definition of the best you can be, you’ve given up all of your power. You can’t be sure if what you’re doing is productive or a waste of time. The ups you experience from this perspective are circumstantial and short-lived. You are unable to invite legitimate happiness, because you don’t know what it looks like when it smiles and waves at you from across the room.
Know Thyself
Deciding what happiness looks like is tough. It requires thought, honestly, reflection, sacrificing crutches, and even a few tears. However, once you’ve made the empowering decisions, you’re on the right track to becoming unstoppable. The first step is to get back to basics. Ask yourself some hard questions. What kind of person are you? What are your hopes? What do you want to accomplish in life? What are you good at, and what could you stand to improve upon? Not having an answer for these questions is how you managed to sink into this funk in the first place. It’s impossible to stay on top of your life when you’re not sure where it’s going.
Once you’ve got a grasp of the basics, get out a pen and paper and fantasize a little. Imagine a parallel universe, in which your parallel self is happy, prosperous, strong, healthy, and achieving everything you desire with ease. What does this parallel, “best” you look like? What does he do from day to day? With whom does she interact? What makes him happy? What upsets her? Be specific. You are a cartographer mapping your dreams here; the sky’s the limit.
Half the battle is devising a clear picture in your mind of what your “best life” looks like. You probably won’t get it perfect the first time. Keep tweaking it until it reflects total truth within you. You’ll know it when you’ve done it – it’s one of those Eureka! moments you can be both proud of and inspired by. It should excite you in a way you can’t begin to describe. A written scheme of your best life should give you butterflies, and you’ll feel as though if you don’t dive in now, you’ll explode with anticipation. This vision will be your best source of motivation. As your life evolves, so will your goals. A vision that sends you into a fit of joy today may be different in two months or two years. When the road of life produces junctions and forks, your “best self” will be your guide. Sometimes the road will disappear and you’ll have to carve your own path. Strive to maintain a vision that keeps you growing.
Put Your New-Found Self to the Test
Trouble in Paradise
Though feeding off your own positive reinforcement is imperative, today we’re going to talk about beating the blues. When you feel your "down" stretch has lasted far too long, it's time to get proactive. If long-term grey periods are prevalent in your life, it may be an indication you're missing a very important piece of information about yourself – who you really are. It's time to do some soul searching.
This may seem like a daunting task. Perhaps you don't even know where to start. You’ve heard of young people aimlessly trying to “find themselves”, getting nowhere and feeling as though they’ve wasted their youth. They experiment with superficial desires, and hope they will passively stumble upon their life purpose while on a beach in Thailand. Therein lies their downfall. In order to move forward, you have to define your terms. This takes effort, and unfortunately taking a semester off to get drunk on another continent won’t suffice. The only way to boost your soul searching results is to take ownership over what you desire. Wishy-washiness must be abolished in planning and execution. If you make a haphazard attempt to accomplish something you kinda sorta care about, you’ll end up waist-deep in an unsatisfying life you hardly recognize.
If your view of reality is skewed, or you’re unclear on your definition of the best you can be, you’ve given up all of your power. You can’t be sure if what you’re doing is productive or a waste of time. The ups you experience from this perspective are circumstantial and short-lived. You are unable to invite legitimate happiness, because you don’t know what it looks like when it smiles and waves at you from across the room.
Know Thyself
Deciding what happiness looks like is tough. It requires thought, honestly, reflection, sacrificing crutches, and even a few tears. However, once you’ve made the empowering decisions, you’re on the right track to becoming unstoppable. The first step is to get back to basics. Ask yourself some hard questions. What kind of person are you? What are your hopes? What do you want to accomplish in life? What are you good at, and what could you stand to improve upon? Not having an answer for these questions is how you managed to sink into this funk in the first place. It’s impossible to stay on top of your life when you’re not sure where it’s going.
Once you’ve got a grasp of the basics, get out a pen and paper and fantasize a little. Imagine a parallel universe, in which your parallel self is happy, prosperous, strong, healthy, and achieving everything you desire with ease. What does this parallel, “best” you look like? What does he do from day to day? With whom does she interact? What makes him happy? What upsets her? Be specific. You are a cartographer mapping your dreams here; the sky’s the limit.
Half the battle is devising a clear picture in your mind of what your “best life” looks like. You probably won’t get it perfect the first time. Keep tweaking it until it reflects total truth within you. You’ll know it when you’ve done it – it’s one of those Eureka! moments you can be both proud of and inspired by. It should excite you in a way you can’t begin to describe. A written scheme of your best life should give you butterflies, and you’ll feel as though if you don’t dive in now, you’ll explode with anticipation. This vision will be your best source of motivation. As your life evolves, so will your goals. A vision that sends you into a fit of joy today may be different in two months or two years. When the road of life produces junctions and forks, your “best self” will be your guide. Sometimes the road will disappear and you’ll have to carve your own path. Strive to maintain a vision that keeps you growing.
Put Your New-Found Self to the Test
Now that you’ve got a current picture of your desired outcome, you may look at it and wonder how you’re possibly going to get there. Some people are closer to their goals than others, but the process for all is the same. Your dream self will have a unique set of values which change depending on the goal you’re working on. If your vision involves you as a world-famous photographer, you need to take on the identity of a world-famous photographer. What sort of values do you expect this photographic genius to hold true? You care about quality, detail, and design. You see beauty in everything. You’ve got creative juices practically coming out of your ears. If you feel it is your purpose to become a politician, you have different values. The overall health of the nation, or whatever body you represent, takes precedence. You are hyper aware of what the public wants and needs. Find values that align with your goals, ones that you can believe in and stand behind firmly.
Living up to your dreams will involve a certain degree of strategy. Some goals in your dream life may require a different set of values than others. You may have spent a decade or so building your career, with your principles designed to accomplish success. Once a successful career comes as second nature, you may decide it’s time to have children. If your new goal is to be the best parent you can be, it may involve putting your career on the backburner until you develop a solid understanding of what it means to be a great mother. Once your children require less time and physical presence from their parents, you can go back to investing in your career or point your compass towards another goal, such as physical fitness, spirituality, or any other untapped aspect of your best self.
Encouraging evolution within your values and goals is what makes a person dynamic. If all you ever focus on is your career, you may end up rich, powerful, childless and unhealthy. If you spend your life trying to recreate the physical body you had when you were 19, you may know nothing of the world outside the walls of the gym, and you’ll most definitely never eat another Twinkie. If this is what your vision looks like, by all means grab it by the horns. However, most people crave a broader spectrum in order to feel fulfilled. If you can dream it, you can do it.
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If you’re having troubles defining what you want, look first at social conditioning in your past. For those who have never had to set a goal and accomplish something in the face of adversity, societal structures may be responsible for defining what you want. If you’re comfortable with this, you wouldn’t have read this far. Consider thinking outside the box that society creates for those who have been “going with the flow”. The first step is always the most difficult and painful, but the pain is temporary and the process becomes easier with time. Set small goals first if you’re worried about overloading and burning out. Effectively setting and reaching your goals will become a familiar method as you work towards discovering your boundaries. Once you really know yourself, you’ll be able to use your strengths to their maximum potential, and improve or eliminate your weaknesses. In the mean time, every ounce of knowledge you gain is pushing you closer to realizing your dreams. Start small or start big, but start today.
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